Starve, Prey, Loathe
The Found Poetry of Priv-Lit
You must call yourself all kinds of cutesy things. Fill your ego on endearments. They are self-delusion girl dinners. You just need to lie that you are tired of starving yourself, attract sociopaths like a lodestone, feed narcs like a gourmet soup kitchen and loathe those who live and love for themselves and are not needing anyone “to hold their hand” with a monthly paid subscription. Infantilize yourself. Marry yourself first and promise to never leave yourself. Fill your holes with love bombing. Declare the craters left by the illusion beautiful and the damage wholeness. This is the way and no, you need others to love your self love and love bomb you for it. Like comment subscribe. A heart is life goals, share yourself until you are spread so thin you’re translucent. Spit out endearments and platitudes until you believe them. Affirm affirm affirm and damn the accountability. This is how you find mental health and happiness. The Eat Pray Love sign on the mantelpiece is not Kwan Yin, but reminds you you are worthy. Buy yourself flowers and eat mangoes naked and lick the juice off your arms as S.A.R.K suggests- eat, pray, love, starve prey, loathe yourself, you have to loathe yourself first apparently. You must be a black hole of need and draw empty platitudes from white middle aged spiritual gurus and Karen-followed cult leaders to find inner peace. You are as hollow as a mango skin, you’ve squeezed yourself into pulp. You are entitled by virtue of your existence. You are incredibly Special. You have served serious hard time sentences serving in Target checkout lines, tapping to pay for that latest designer collab pickleball dress, açaí smoothie bowl and the adorable espadrilles and earned your all-inclusive Starve, Prey, Loathe tourist experience. Why are the ones whom you want not lined up to would lick the juice from your overbearing smothering arms? You’ll have to lick yourself. praying the calories won’t stick, eating your heart out, lounging extravagantly, emptying your wallet out, praying there’s a higher power than a NYT bestseller self help feel-good female empowerment manifesto memoir.
Dearest lit match, jelly bear: we see you. Love knows You will come more alive through acceptance, limitations, and surrender — and THEN through a joyful reblooming of expression. Okay, angel. Listen. sweetheart. Resist resisting, so you can Calm down, dear. Settle, little martyr… Listen, babe dear. dear one Oh little seed pod sweetheart. Through yourself, with yourself, of yourself — this is where all power and the treasure of life is hiding. This is what we wish for you, because we love you. We love you, let’s keep going. Dearest resting peacock, our brave little weary explorer sweetheart baby little fairy light But now lean in, because we want to tell you, just you, our baby, something gently magical Lovelets My beautiful boy Oh little sugar glider sweetheart Do you see how loved you are? All of this is for you. Yes, dear. “Aren’t you a little curious about the life that is beginning to open?” Aren’t you, my love? my love, little sparrow Oh, sweetheart Oh, glorious, radiant, explosive kernel of popcorn little spark sweetie! But if this is all true (and it is, little monkey butt, it is true) sweetheart small one, Stay with us, little flame Our little workhorse, our little adventurer, our ferocious little endeavorer Little treasure Sweetheart honey “You don’t have to weep over the flowers, honey Remember the meditation teacher who one day said to you on a walk, with tears in her eyes, pointing at everything you passed, “Do you realize that all this is for you? All of this is for you? That leaf on the ground is for you. That cloud in the sky is for you. The red color of that woman’s coat, that just walked by — that red is for you. The wind is for you. The smell of the rain is for you. It’s all for you. Do you see how loved you are? All of this is for you!” angel sweetheart babe babe babe precious sweetie small one “Your perfect, frustrated, beautiful, lava-boiling, score-keeping, hungry-to-be-free-of-your-own-nonsense angry human self?” Oh, sweetheart Oh, honey. little flower honey — you vivid, daring, beautiful, hungry soul diamond girl Little friend, pumpkin seed, star seed, breath of air little visitor to Earth angel wing dearest spirit Dearest Bed of Spring Violets “Now, we have some wonderful news for your courageous and infinitely curious divine spirit: you aren’t done yet!” kiddo “change knows where you live, it knows your home address, it’s coming.” My love Sweet cherry blossom, soaking wet in the rain: get over here. good self-care, little buddy! Little scoop of sugar Busy little spinning top Sweetheart Dearest small treasure Sweet friend Ah, silly rabbit You are the evidence, my love you are my honeyhead sweetie Beloved child Little song, little melody humming under my breath Try not to think about it, honey We can always go back to our regularly scheduled doom. “mortality is happening! Let’s watch it happen together! Let’s not pretend death isn’t real!” baby otter you adorable monkeys my beautiful grieving child little flower We love you. Oh little turtle darling Sweetheart “We say “shut your damn mouth” with love, honey. We love your mouth, but we also kind of love it when you keep it shut sometimes sweet buttercup” My dear heart honeyhead My darling darling darling stay adorable Dear my wobbly little baby emu Unconditional Love, LLC Okay, tiny seed from a milkweed pod angel face “you were supposed to be a badass, a girl boss, a powerful manifester, a mover and a shaker, a champagne supernova in the sky (and yes, we did just quote the Gallagher brothers, a first for us!) and you innocently believed it.” little spark of curiosity, Warm blanket of a girl, dear heart, Sweetheart Little crumb of pumpkin bread, Clever girl, nimble child sweet one honeyhead, Angel darling, Darling one “I am love, dearest. We are love. And we are not going anywhere.” You don’t ever have to work so hard again”. Are you seeing the pattern, little one? our little dear rabbit, little dove honey Sweetheart My love, my love, my love my darling child. Dearest little radish, Oh you sweet little tiny baby puppy! Honey Dearest little spark sweetie darling “Take it easy, our little ambitious friend. All that you seek is already what you are. You’re soaking in it.” No, my little sweet bird in a teacup. No, my love, our love, the love of all the ages. little raindrop, Baby girl, honey See you around, little mama. “Some words we would like to see struck from your inside vocabulary and no longer directed toward yourself include but are not limited to: idiot, klutz, loser, dummy, moron, asshole, crazy, hopeless, pathetic, weak, bitch, greedy, lazy, selfish, fool, fat, hag — okay, wait, sorry, you can keep hag, because I know you actually love that word. Hag is yours for the taking, and yes, we here at Love LLC do give you permission if you want to, to get a tattoo across your aging belly that says HAG LIFE but that’s only because you say it affectionately! But let us provide, dear little hag-let, words to use toward yourself. Oh tender child, Sweetheart. Honeyhead. Child. Child is always good. “But you are brilliant. You are brilliant. You showed up brilliant — and you are already learning everything you will ever need.” Precious. Dearest little thread of lights Prized. Oh honeydew melon, Sweetheart little one Little softness “Through yourself, with yourself, of yourself — this is where all power and the treasure of life is hiding. This is what we wish for you, because we love you.” You don’t ever have to work so hard again dearest slice of life, dearest crack of fresh air drop the knives, little buttercup Little meddler We love you, let’s keep going. Oh, our little muffin tin, we see you. Oh precious pine cone, little fiery mind of protest. Sweetheart Tired sweetheart, we love you. All is well, Let’s keep going. We can always go back to our regularly scheduled doom. Dearest little basket of apple, little monkey butt, little marching mistress of productivity Poor poppet. Poor little sock puppet, my little tireless try-er But let us repeat: you are brilliant. You showed up brilliant. brave human baby, This is where you are going, our little hat band. little raindrop Oh, our highly sensitive little peanut, Brave little button, This is what we wish for you, because we love you. That’s really grown-up stuff, honeyhead! So let us ask you something, pixie-breath Sounds a little scary, right? Bunny poodle, no. Give us your entire life, child. Give yourself over to Love, and trust that you will be healed. Little lamplight Baby bird Little pillow of the heart, listen. True love, your love, our love, THE love. Okay, little beast. little sun-mote, little bean, “You cannot rest, after all, if you do not understand how perfect you are. How could you ever relax your vigilance if you do not understand the depth of your intrinsic, undiminishable, unshakeable preciousness?” Dearest Transparent Dragonfly Wing Angelpop, little molecule, little timberfly honey darling This is holy. Dearest feather from an owl’s underwing, dust mote of starlight, tiny miracle, “Stay with me. Let my voice be both your lighthouse and your anchor. Let me be the ground beneath your feet. That’s all you need to know.” Bumbletruck Sweet dove change knows where you live, it knows your home address Baby girl Be true to your freedom. We are right here with you, eating it up like candy. Dearest Hungry Hungry Hippo of the Heart Your longing brought you, little speckled egg, to us. Frosting is what is needed here, my love — sweet, abundant, and laid on quite heavily. little shrinky-dink figurine standing uncomfortably in the oven of our gaze right now We love you, let’s keep going. Sweetheart Darling Dear A lot of you have gotten divorced recently after very long marriages. (So. Many. Divorces. You are truly my people!) You want your Eat Pray Love journeys and by God, you know I think you all deserve them. Your” longing was a magnet, a heat-seeking missile, a truffle hound, a detective, a searchlight.” “I am love, dearest. We are love. And we are not going anywhere You don’t ever have to work so hard again. change knows where you live, it knows your home address, it’s coming But let us repeat: you are brilliant. You showed up brilliant If you’d like to write your own letter from love but don’t know how, let us hold your hand. We have found that the paywall safeguards our kind, like-hearted community and the intimate work we do together But let us repeat: you are brilliant. You showed up brilliant The last thing we would promote here at Love HQ is toxic positivity — like everyone else, when we’re in the thick of a crisis the alleged silver linings look more like tin foil. We can always go back to our regularly scheduled doom Stay with us, little feather. Stay with us.Stay with us even more, and trust us. What we are telling you is a gift, not a curse. little dove my love, sweetheart But we’ll keep this conversation going forever, angel. my love my precious love We can always go back to our regularly scheduled doom. that red is for you. The wind is for you. The smell of the rain is for you. It’s all for you. Do you see how loved you are? All of this is for you Sweetheart Child Babe Dearest Love Dear One Love love love love love love love love love Love love love LoveLove love Love Love Love love Love love love love love love love Love Love love Love Love Love love Love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love Love Love Are you seeing the patterns everyone? —Pixie
All italics found and taken from S.A.R.K’s “Succulent Wild Woman” and “Letters from Love”, Elizabeth Gilbert.
Infantilizing Women, Sexualizing Girlishness
How being kind and caring and showing mere appreciation has become a fetish- WTF, and if anyone “good girl”s me, I’ll claw their face up like the feral bitch I am. I am not your pet! ICK! I love a compliment in bed though, and more so in the living room, as words of affirmation are my love, not sex, language.
