Operation Epic Furry
A poem
Operation Epic Furry
Too many dead bedroom men feel emasculated— They wanna be apex predators again. The cycle starts again. We need a war like we need a hole in the head. But every 30 years, We decide we’ve surplus lives. We need to air the junk out, Prove we’ve got a big one. The army great coat flashers of Korea, The humiliation of Vietnam, The Gulf War and the remix Hell, how about an entire album of remixes? we’re feeling a little small. We’ll make this war big. It’ll be huge. The latest biggest war ever! We even SEO’ed the names for missions, We got hype and marketing! The influencers are talking it up. It’s gonna be the big thing in 2026! Big as our egos, our microphalluses, and our golf panted asses. Bigger than our biggest assets. (We have strategic asses to protect.) We don’t need a plan Just the 24/7 news cycle and good friends. Congress doesn’t even need to vote. Just whip them out, wave them across the skies Dangle them over international waters. Guess we’ve got too many surplus lives. Thin the herd, put on the hawk costume. Commercial interests Corporate sponsors. We’re manly men now. We don’t need the blue chews tonight. The boys in DC and the boardrooms are feeling frisky and virile. (Widows and mothers are never important. We don’t and won’t exist. They will categorically deny us, we’ll simply be redacted, forever-long as the boys get action.)
